Saturday, December 6, 2008

Day 15 : "ROADRAGE"

The short dark guy with a pot belly, standing in front of me, his ass facing the crowd that's building up on my side... waving frantically to the guys with their "left indicators on" to GO LEFT and the guys with "right indicators on" to go right!! WTF?? Is that not what we would do otherwise?? And the crazy fucks go and turn-off the signals which were doing at least better and start performing their fucked-up YOGA styles in the "MIDDLE OF THE ROAD"!!!

I am talking specifically about Bangalore here. And I guess any other major city would have the same issues. Guys, all those of you who drive back home from work/college through these shit roads and traffic and still keep your cool towards the end of the day - HATS OFF to you all!! I was driving through a few roads yesterday and GOD!! Pile-ups everywhere!! I once saw Bangalore (some 5-6 years back) and thought even we at Hyd should start having one-ways to regulate traffic better. Thank God the guys at Hyd thought otherwise!! One-ways mean SHIT as of today!! What's the point?? There's a good amount of confusion all over the place and also good traffic!!

Adding to all this are the stupid fucks who HONK the ass out of the guy ahead of them knowing the fact that the signal is RED and that RED means STOP!! Stupid MFrs, didn't they tell you that when they gave you a license?? The only two people who bothered stopping on a red where there was no free left-turn were me and some Infy employee (I saw his ID hangin'). And on top of this the stupid fucks come and honk on you and sometimes even yell or make faces (fucked-up faces).

And whatever it is, the algorithms they use at signals, they're just not good!! One side is ALWAYS piling up and the other is a clean as a golf course (just the grass carpet missing!!). And my cuz drove me through an underpass that was exactly wide enough to fit ONE car and it was one-way. Did they ever hear, "If something can go wrong, it will. All at once"??!! I said, "this is nothing even for now, forget 5 years later!!" and he quickly says, "Hell!! This would've been nothing even 50 years ago!! Forget now!!" True. I really wonder what those shit bags are PLANNING cities back there but, I know for sure they're fucking it all up beyond repair!! Fuck you all cops, the ones waving to us where to go despite our indicators making it clear, the ones with the pink slips going around just to create panic (I say this because they INSIST we strike a deal that's beyond the scope of the slips they carry around!!)

P.S. "Roderage" I wish I could use this cheat on roads to blow the fucking cops off the roads (only the fucked up ones)!!

Ah yes!! I left my language filters at one of the fucking signals back there!!

14 comments:

hc said...

pk!!!! relax man...btw ho come u were awake to notice wads happening all around u!!! ur changing man....now now dont abuse the cops they r just doing there duty..u go do their job for a day and then u come back and post here :p ..and mind ur language son!!! i wil flag ur blog..lol !!! what fun!!!btw moti is in bangalore go meet up with her and ask her to get a better algorithm using her artificial intelligence skills

hc said...

btw ur extra smart ..u skip days in between but put the next number a sit should have been...caught u!!!

lukkydivz said...

isn't it similar to what we have here? keep ur resilience mister ;)

Ah yes!! I left my language filters at one of the fucking signals back there!!

ROFL i was wondering what happened to the decent language that pk used until now :D enjoyed reading nevertheless ;)

Phoenix said...

i agree with the signal thingy... these people dont have the power of estimation... even in kolkata the same thing happens .. damn the traffic guards...

Pranav Kumar V said...

@hc : DAMN!! I thought no one noticed!! :P

Pranav Kumar V said...

@Divz : seriously!! I left my filters back there!! They kinda popped out of me!!

We are way better!! Trust me on this!!

@Phoenix : We're the same fish living in different bowls... all of us...

RiverSoul said...

I distinctly remember murphy's law

If something can get Fucked up, it WILL get fucked up.

Though i think murphy used more civilised words.
:(
Bang traffic is at Its worse.
Nice post.
:)
Thanx for following my Blog
:)
Catch you l8r.
See you when i see you.
;)

RiverSoul said...
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RiverSoul said...
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RiverSoul said...
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Pranav Kumar V said...

@RiverSoul : No thanks here bro!! I like ur stuff, I follow. Simple funda. And just tell me you had a seizure when you were commenting!! :P LOL!! 4 times!!

Anyways, see you when I see you...

RiverSoul said...

I'm so sorry!
:D
Its my phone's fault.
I use my phone to comment and review, like now for example, but sometimes, opera mini goes mad and spits out multiple entries even if i commented once
:(

Richa said...

:D

i too feel like abusing on the roads, well i have since promised you one anecdote days back, i remind others too, shall write them soon :D

Pranav Kumar V said...

@RiverSoul : Chill!! Shit happens!! :)

@Richa : I'd LOVE to read!! Go go go...