Day 16 : GRANDMA!! Lite Teesuko!!

For all the guys who didn't get the title, "LITE TEESUKO!!" translates to "LITE LE YAAR" also, "TAKE IT EASY!!"

Lite Teesuko : This is something I've been hearing from my first year of Engineering. My lecturers too use it!! WOW!! Their context is a little different though. You go to them in a crisis and ask them to help you out, they say its too late and so..."lite teesuko"!! Now its the mantra I chant the most. All of us doing our engineering or who have already done it down here, chant it. Its the BEST lesson in LIFE my Engineering course could offer to me, for sure (I was always that kind though, I just found the right words here, THE MANTRA)!! And I'm sure there thousands more who would love to agree with me. What say folks??

Back to Granny tales... Think about this... Can you, at once, recollect a situation in life when you've been completely "helpless"?? I can, very quickly!! All the nasty encounters with my Grandfolks!! I mean its hard to get a few things across the table to my folks and these people are their folks!! Its IMPOSSIBLE!! There are these times when they are completely not okay with a few things we do. Like food habits, the times we choose to go to bed, the times we go out... and blah blah blah... And then there are times when they totally disapprove a few things we do... and then take-off time!! If my folks yelled at me, I can give it back to them, right back, and even convince them on the complete opposite of their initial assumptions!! Its the easiest things I can do now-a-days!! :P

But when its the Grander ones we are encountered by... naah, its not so easy!! I'm only referring to Grandmoms here. Grandpas are completely cool!! They don't give a damn as long as you don't come in their way. See!! They're MEN too!! :P But when Grandmas are throwing hot shots at you, there's not much at least "I" can do!! :( I've completely grown past the stage where it would offend me... I really don't bother myself with these warmer times now. Coming from Hyderabad, Hyderabad main hum aisich hai yaaron...sab kucch hum full lite lete yaaron... koi karein agar G mein dum toh...Dil pe mat lo... :P

On the contrary, of late, I've taught my Grandma a new mantra recently... THE "LITE TEESUKO" way of life!! My folks already know it pretty well and are doing great with it so far!! So, everytime there are signs of the steam building up... sploosh... "LITE TEESUKO!!" comes to my rescue. They still do get past it once in a while. But that's unavoidable I guess. So, all of you, teach the Gen-W the "LITE TEESUKO" way of life. It works great for me (only for short periods of time though!! but still, comes in very handy at times..:) )

And if anyone chooses to disagree on anything I've said, then again, "LITE TEESUKO"!!! :P No no... just go on... I'm always listening... I'm dying to hear!! :P

See you when I see you...

P.S. Listener discretion is advised for listening to the song. Its something from Hyderabad Blues, a Kukunoor movie. Loads of gaalis in there!! Also, I caught my first lizard today, a baby lizard (it was some 3/4th inch long). And also, Harry and I played with a centipede first thing after I woke up this morning!! It had 40 legs, stupid thing was slipping along the ceramic floor and thinking it was going somewhere!!

Day 15 : "ROADRAGE"

The short dark guy with a pot belly, standing in front of me, his ass facing the crowd that's building up on my side... waving frantically to the guys with their "left indicators on" to GO LEFT and the guys with "right indicators on" to go right!! WTF?? Is that not what we would do otherwise?? And the crazy fucks go and turn-off the signals which were doing at least better and start performing their fucked-up YOGA styles in the "MIDDLE OF THE ROAD"!!!

I am talking specifically about Bangalore here. And I guess any other major city would have the same issues. Guys, all those of you who drive back home from work/college through these shit roads and traffic and still keep your cool towards the end of the day - HATS OFF to you all!! I was driving through a few roads yesterday and GOD!! Pile-ups everywhere!! I once saw Bangalore (some 5-6 years back) and thought even we at Hyd should start having one-ways to regulate traffic better. Thank God the guys at Hyd thought otherwise!! One-ways mean SHIT as of today!! What's the point?? There's a good amount of confusion all over the place and also good traffic!!

Adding to all this are the stupid fucks who HONK the ass out of the guy ahead of them knowing the fact that the signal is RED and that RED means STOP!! Stupid MFrs, didn't they tell you that when they gave you a license?? The only two people who bothered stopping on a red where there was no free left-turn were me and some Infy employee (I saw his ID hangin'). And on top of this the stupid fucks come and honk on you and sometimes even yell or make faces (fucked-up faces).

And whatever it is, the algorithms they use at signals, they're just not good!! One side is ALWAYS piling up and the other is a clean as a golf course (just the grass carpet missing!!). And my cuz drove me through an underpass that was exactly wide enough to fit ONE car and it was one-way. Did they ever hear, "If something can go wrong, it will. All at once"??!! I said, "this is nothing even for now, forget 5 years later!!" and he quickly says, "Hell!! This would've been nothing even 50 years ago!! Forget now!!" True. I really wonder what those shit bags are PLANNING cities back there but, I know for sure they're fucking it all up beyond repair!! Fuck you all cops, the ones waving to us where to go despite our indicators making it clear, the ones with the pink slips going around just to create panic (I say this because they INSIST we strike a deal that's beyond the scope of the slips they carry around!!)

P.S. "Roderage" I wish I could use this cheat on roads to blow the fucking cops off the roads (only the fucked up ones)!!

Ah yes!! I left my language filters at one of the fucking signals back there!!

Day 14 : And who says its easy to be a MAN in THIS world??

I've seen. I've been seeing for years. I heard. I've been hearing for years (a lot). I said (very little over the years). You have NO idea how a woman feels!! And I always used to wonder, yeah right!! unless one of us is from Krypton!!

Just leave all your prepossessions behind, and read what I write. A man, also found in various forms (a.k.a. metamorphosis) as, a son, a grandson, a great-grandson, a lover, a soldier, a husband, a father, a grandfather and a great-grandfather. Now don't say even woman have this grand stuff. No!! Here, its completely different.

My son is going to carry on my legacy (free, bonded labor!!) (chiraags, we're called!! blow us hard and we're gone!! into the wind!!).

"Oh, its okay!! My husband will drop you home, won't you honey??" (Now, the poor guy is so overwhelmed with "honey" that it is not until he drops his wife's girlfriend off, he realizes, okaaayyy. something just happened to me a little while ago, though I'm not able to comprehend the structure of what it was!! (You were bound by the blinding shackles of the sweetness of honey, you jack-ass!! :P).

Baby cries, "don't cry baby!! Papa's gonna take us out tonight. :)" (And the poor guy is at work thinking how he's going to laze around after he gets back home!!).

Even worse, "Grandpa's going to take you to the park in the evening. No!! Not grandma, she can't run so much!!" (At least she can carry Grandpa back home!!)

And there's a lot more of this stuff!! Poor guy is trying real hard to convince his mom he still cares and his wife that he's listening to all she says. I can bet there has been more than one Prime Minister in India (the rest of the world too) who must have bit his tongue real hard while at office when he realized he just missed one of, his wife's tea parties!! She's like the steam coming out of the milk kettle, steaming, for her husband, who also happens to be the PM of a nation (like she cares!!) missed another one of her tea parties!! Though I can bet Madam Indira Gandhi never must have found herself in such a situation. I wasn't even born when she died, but still, I just know. Forget any such incident she wouldn't even have made such a commitment!! Feroz must have said, "Indira how about a movie tonight??" and she would be like, "Feroooozz!! Are you out of your minds!!". Poor guy would've been thinking real hard if what he asked her out was for a "movie" or a "booze party"!!

On a more serious not, not so serious, but still, expectations everywhere man!! From Manmohan to common man, its a man whose expected to do it all!! Not that he does anyway!! Girls, honestly, (don't even bother answering, but still) do you make more calls to your guy or do you receive more calls from him?? Fine he's desperate, but not all the time!!

And this heart thing really gets my thought process running, flying, zipping... Pinch me and see if don't "ouch!!". "all you guys, you don't have feelings... mcchhh. no. no, you don't... ummhmmm...". I say, "Chal hut!!". You stand good in your place and me in mine. No swapping. No weighing. Just the way we are.

Having said all what I said above, I now say, "No. Its not a lot more easier to be a man!! And no, its not as easy as you say!!". I definitely don't dare say its easy being a woman!! You are the one who can create and very well destroy!! Now these are the two hardest things to do in this world, the second could be a lot easier at times. So, I love you all for that!! All men love all women for that (this love is called respect/chivalry, etc). And you guys really need someone to throw your pillows at. So we're even. You give a little something, and you hold onto a little something. Fair. Fairly square. What we all need to agree is, each one has our own set of problems individually and a lot more joy together(!!). You do your work, I'll do mine. In the process we'll end up doing a WE and that's the way itsmeant to be!! You are you. I am me. And you and I are just meant to be!! :):) (WOW PK!!)

See you when I see you folks!! :)

Day 13 : A CLASSIC - CLASSICAL NIGHT... Live in concert - Jethro Tull & Anoushka Shankar

Bangalore : I could hear the faint sounds of the sitar as I was walking into the Palace Grounds for the concert by Jethro Tull and Anoushka Shankar. I thought it was just a record of hers being played (from a record!!)... but I was a little shocked to realize it was actually she, who had already started performing!! Here, I say a 'little shocked' because that shock was overcome by a bigger one... the was she tampered her sitar, if I may call it so... WOW!! She played it faster than flapping wings of the slowest Humming Bird!! And the best part is it was all pure music to the ears. She gave her music a perfect closing note. Breath-taking is how I refer to it.

And now, the members of Jethro Tull started playing in the dark and slowly came to light, led by Ian Anderson. I need to make something clear here. I never even heard of this band until two days before the concert. So, obviously I'm not familiar with their music. However, I just heard a few of their bests in the morning. Decent. Despite the fact that I knew not much of the band, there were parts of the show which were completely amazing!! The way Ian handled the lead vocals, the acoustic guitar and the best part, his flute. He was just a cuckoo at work with his flute. Amazing!! They played all of their bests starting way back from the 60's. They did ROCK. And remember, he's 61 years old. The guy was the most active guy on stage. The way he grooved to his music... Rock Style.

So, after Jethro Tull's classic rock and little bit of jazz, the best part of the show. Jethro Tull and Anoushka Shankar. Now this was really amazing!! The fusion was just perfect. The way Ian and Anoushka performed the same music (Aqualung - listen to know!!)on the flute and the sitar, together... divine. It was at time that I saw Anoushka really slither her fingers across the strings of the sitar... I felt like I'll go hug her once before I leave or atleast hold her fingers tight!! :P Only to express my appreciation (which wouldn't really matter to her) or to get a feel of the fingers that created enormous waves of joy within me (this I knew, would not happen)!! :(

Finally , they announced they would take off, we were walking back and my cuz (Harry, the one who bought me my ticket!! :) ) said "See they're going to come back and give one last piece...all bands do that!!" and *string* I hear the sitar. Anoushka jumped into her place and started the best performance of the night!! She was like a Goddess for a few minutes!! In all, it was a great classical experience for me. One of my best. Try listening to this one... amazing!!

P.S. Thanks for the ticket Harry!! :)

And IE sucks to the core!! Why am I even using it!! Anyways, see you when I see you... :)

Day 12 : Is baar nahin...

Is baar jab woh choti si bachchi mere paas apni kharonch le kar aayegi
Main usey phoo phoo kar nahin behlaoonga
Panapney doonga uski tees ko
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab main chehron par dard likha dekhoonga
Nahin gaoonga geet peeda bhula dene wale
Dard ko risney doonga,utarney doonga andar gehrey
Is baar nahin

Is baar main na marham lagaoonga
Na hi uthaoonga rui ke phahey
Aur na hi kahoonga ki tum aankein band karlo,gardan udhar kar lo main dawa lagata hoon
Dekhney doonga sabko hum sabko khuley nangey ghaav
Is baar nahin

Is baar jab uljhaney dekhoonga,chatpatahat dekhoonga
Nahin daudoonga uljhee door lapetney
Uljhaney doonga jab tak ulajh sake
Is baar nahin

Is baar karm ka hawala de kar nahin uthaoonga auzaar
Nahin karoonga phir se ek nayee shuruaat
Nahin banoonga misaal ek karmyogi ki
Nahin aaney doonga zindagi ko aasani se patri par
Utarney doonga usey keechad main,tedhey medhey raston pe
Nahin sookhney doonga deewaron par laga khoon
Halka nahin padney doonga uska rang
Is baar nahin banney doonga usey itna laachaar
Ki paan ki peek aur khoon ka fark hi khatm ho jaye
Is baar nahin

Is baar ghawon ko dekhna hai
Gaur se Thoda lambe wakt tak
Kuch faisley Aur uskey baad hausley
Kahin toh shuruat karni hi hogi
Is baar yahi tay kiya hai

By Prasoon Joshi

This poem reflects the feelings of many Indians after the Mumbai attacks. Lets hope, ki is baar nahi...

Video : www.ndtv.com

P.S. Realized there's some problem with the streaming... go watch it. Watch the last 10 minutes of the show. Simi just screwed it all in the end!!

Day 11 : JAI HIND!!

I've been observing this for the last few days. I don't hear much of this on news or even in people's conversations. I saw a National News Channel yesterday where there was a discussion about the attacks, first-hand experiences and tributes (Stop guessing folks!! It is what you think it is!!). I was just hoping she'd close with a "JAI HIND". It did't come!!:( Maybe it was very obvious and the feeling was there all over the place but still, saying it would have kicked in more of the feeling in everyone. No complaints though!! They are doing their job and doing it right.I know each one out there loves their nation as much as anyone else. But, just getting ourselves to say these two words gives a sense of completeness, confidence, or call it whatever.

Now, if you say, "nothing's going to come off it just because we say it all the time!!", then try this, choose one of your closest friends, tell him/her that you'll be calling them a dog/bitch/rhino/hippo anything more creative that you can come up with, for sometime to come. And do this in front of their parents, friends, strangers. There would be a certain point when they'll say, "That's it dude. No more". Now, if you believe these words which weren't meant to mean anything and still annoyed you at some point, then the fact is, words always are meant to mean something. Something.

After all, why leave out the cause while we talk about the effects?? I think, people should stop greeting each other with God's names or whatever it is, if they choose to greet anyone and instead just say a "Jai Hind". Or maybe they can add the God's names after the Jai Hind!!

Jai Hind and see you when I see you...

Day 10 : I'm FULL yet EMPTY...

It was all over today at 'aamchi Mumbai'. Had a slight, very thin, sense of joy... At least its over now!! Was so full of thoughts till today morning!! Was roling around in bed all night long!! Not quite sure why, but I guess it was the thoughts that were left behind by the incidents of last night.

Was watching NDTV 24X7, when Pranoy said, "lets salute all those who have laid their lives fighting for the country and the city they love..." all of us in the room stood in silence for a minute. The LEAST I could do to show my respect. Felt good. :)

Was so full of thoughts till today!! I just let them hang loose wherever they were for once. And instead chose to fill myself with food!! Yeah!! In order of occurance (only since 6 in the evening to 11:30pm) apples, papaya, tamarind toffee (the jaw-breaker!!), pineapple cake, dosa, hot-Fresh'N'Ground-sugarless-cappuccino, khatta-meetha, litchi ice-cream, hot chocolate fudge...(and oh!! a piece of raw cabbage too!!) now that's some kind of a meal!! :D And am still in ONE PIECE!! :P I guess I'll write some sense tomorrow. Just NUMB to what's happened I guess!! Too much pain inflicted on everyone. I'll just chill for a day.

See you when I see you folks!!

P.S. Someone "may" not smile for what's written today. But that's fine. Just try the tamarind candy. remember to chew it with your premolars. Your jaws will experience a sudden paroxysm!!